Tuesday, June 1, 2010

Day 2 of Heartbreak

I told my boss' daughters last night that their dad asked me to find a new job.  We texted back and forth and they apologized and said they were glad for the time we had together. I  agreed.  They are lovely ladies.  I woke up this morning and pressed snooze for an hour and a half.  I couldn't move.  I couldn't get up.  I couldn't go running like I wanted to.  I couldn't really do anything.  For the last 18 months, I have sent a text to my best friend almost every morning, and for the last year, we'd meet at 5:30 am at the gym.  Neither of those things happened.  What makes this all worse is that I got the news by text message, and then he went out of town.  So we haven't been able to talk about anything or hash it out.  I don't know what I did really.  I don't know why I'm in this position, why I can't breathe, why I only want to sleep, why I can't wake up from this really lame nightmare in which my best friend is no longer a part of my life.  can't even be around my kids because I can't even muster a smile.
Every time one of my friends would break up with a boyfriend, she'd lose 20 lbs.  The only thing I CAN do is eat, and it's tragic considering all the work I've done over the last few months to get in shape.  It's a horrible, horrible curse.  
I'm totally dead inside.  

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